Body: Grievous Injuries

May 29, 2008

The second in a series about how we are built and the history of our corporeal selves.

Now let’s talk about damage. What broke, abraded, blew out, accordioned, suppurated, bulged on your corpus? What hurt?

First, for all of the spills and inadvertent somersaulting I’ve done, I’ll start with: until February of this year, I’d never had stitches (I had interior stitches this year after my surgery). I’ve never broken a bone enough to require a cast, either.

Worst pain? maybe?: Class four ankle kill-sprain I suffered at Mr. Pencil’s parents’ house in Michigan in the summer of 2006. I fell off a porch step and I heard a really upsetting crack. I was quite certain I’d broken my ankle. I saw white for about a minute and a half. Then there were tears–embarrassing when in front of one’s in-laws. Then there was carrying me to the van and a trip to the hospital. A sprained ankle doesn’t sound that epic, but, trust me. I couldn’t put weight on it for about a month. I broke the main artery going into my foot and snapped a tendon. My entire foot swelled up and turned black. Blood pooled behind my Achilles’ tendon. It was ouch. I managed to sprain the other foot–though much less severely–later in the summer, too. These are the only sprains I’ve ever suffered.
Worst pain in the ass factor: Catastrophic face-plant on Leif Erickson in Forest Park. Those familiar with the former road know that it is surfaced in jagged gravel. I was running downhill, tired, and fell down. Contact points were knees, chest, elbows and hands. Blood flew. It took me a couple of hours of soakage just to pull the rocks out from inside of my knees, chest, elbows and hands. Abrasions. I couldn’t type or wash my own hair for days.
Most terrifyingly disfiguring: I was running on SW 18th across from PGE Park with my hands in my pockets (I know, I know) and tripped over, oh, I don’t know, air or something, and landed with full force of gravity on the concrete on the left side of my chin. I think I passed out for a moment. By the time I stood up I had a black sphere, like a plague bubo, on my face. It was so nasty that people in public shied away and had to tell their kids not to stare.
Most impacting: When I was in fourth grade, my friend Julia and I were playing on the tire swing at school. For some rather non-child-friendly reason, the surface under the tire swing was my old friend concrete. She pushed me too high, I fell off, my head landed on the ground. Bonk. I was knocked out. I had a pretty nifty little concussion and “lost” the entire day and the next day–don’t remember a lick. Since then I’ve suffered from dizziness and increased sensitivity to motion (intriguingly it was contemporaneous with the emergence of my fear of flying).

I find that I am hard-pressed to identify the worst pain I’ve ever endured. I think the conception of pain fades with time. Though I would argue that finger/toenail-class injuries tend to create indelible, crushing memories. I remember being blinded for a minute or two when I was fifteen and my boyfriend at the time (INADVERTENTLY, thank you) broke my nose with a misplaced elbow. You can still see a strangeness on the bridge of my nose.

Stepping into a wasp’s nest when I was 13 was no picnic either.

9 Comments

Alan I. says:

1st grade playground = tripped over sandbox lip suffered frontal concussion.
7th grade basketball game = right ring finger last digit dislocation. Finger had 90 degree up angle.
David Brown says:

Most Painful: Broke both arms last year. “Bilateral Radial Head Fracture” was how the doctor put it.

Right side is healed, I’ve got another 18 months to go on the left. I can function, but have to avoid strain.
Lyza Gardner says:

Ooof, I don’t have any prizes to give out, as such, but if I did, DavidBro would “win.” That sounds horrible!
Peat says:

When I was at university (the second time) I fell off a cliff while mountain biking and was saved from certain death (really) by an overzealous raspberry bush. Showering was extremely painful for about a week, I pulled thorns out of my skin for several months, and had an *awesome* spiderweb of thin white scars all over my body for about a year.

When I was a little kid, I tripped over a board at a construction site (my house) and face planted into a set of concrete stairs. I remember the whole thing, especially how huge and gnarly the scab was.

No broken bones or permanent damage, though.

David Brown wins the thread, I think.
autumn says:

While participating in my high school musical I was paired with a dance partner capable of lifting me and who outweighed me by about 65lbs. One practice as we neared the edge of the stage he didn’t halt when the floor did.he grabbed at me in a panic and we both sailed off the stage and dropped.4 ft to the floor. Somehow in flight, we twisted in such a way that I landed WWF style across his knee in what can only be described as a backbreaker. Once the hysterical laughter ceased and I was able to convey my inability to move. They called an ambulance. To add insult, I was wearing a large metal hairclip that dig into the back of my skull when they strapped me to the backboard. Broke my arm jumping out of a swing when I was 8. Slipped too far forward in a lift line and had the chair clip my knee with such force that it has simply never been the same since. my parents dislocated my shoulder playing tug of war with my person over opposite sides of the rock at women’s forum park. Giving birth hurt too.
Mark says:

4 or 5: I put a step-ladder on top of my tricycle in front of my aunt’s Mustang. I got on top of the contraption and of course fell, face first, onto the front end of the car. My chin was split open, requiring stitches (which of itself required 6 nurses to hold me down). Scars remain.
Aaron says:

Amazingly I’ve never broken a bone. I hadn’t been stung by a bee until about a year ago. Totally boring, right?

I saved my medical awesomeness for the “prize” of having brain surgery on my 16th birthday. I had an arterioveinous malformation (likely something congenital that finally decided to act up, similar to an aneurysm). They cut out the deformed vessels and such, with no real long term damage… I think ;) And it wasn’t even that painful, thanks to all the lovely hospital drugs during recovery. Press this button for more meds!
autumn says:

WAIT!! i FORGOT!

6 months pregnant. went bowling. swung arm, released ball. dislocated pelvis.

THAT was the worst pain ever. had to be carried to the potty for 3 days after. and it persisted. as pregnancy encourages joints which are customarily fused to, well, not be. so i spent my final 3 1/2 months with a pubic symphysis which WOULD NOT go back into place. and snapped loudly and painfully every time i turned over in my sleep. which was alot.

to this day if i squeeze my knees together at just the right moment you can hear an audible SNAP coming from my pelvic region.
Don Park says:

autumn – ouch!!

there is a 4 foot chainlink fence outside the house i grew up in (which im living in currently). at age 10 or so i stood on top of the fence and told mom and dad to look while i jumped off. the bottom of my jeans snaged on the top part of the fence so when i jumped, my feet pretty much stayed in place. i landed on my right arm which broke and needed a cast. i thought the cast was cool, especially when people signed it.

at another time in my youth, i was riding a 10-speed for the first time. i slammed on the front brake and did an endo over the front handlebars. got scraped up but not too bad. once i stepped on a shard of glass that dug into my big toe. that needed stiches.