A few things.

One, my darling fiancé is the kiss of death to any and all network connections earthwide. He’s akin to a walking null modem cable. I have told him this. I try to keep him away from my Internet. I am a consistent connection.

Second, greetings. “Hello” is quite dull. I once heard a clerk at electronics surplus store Wacky Willy’s answer the phone to his son with: “Fruit of my loins, how are you?!” That’s much better, don’t you think?