Did Amazon.com Just Bend Space-Time?

August 9, 2007

I have Amazon’s Amazon Prime service, which, for a mere fiscal rape of $80 a year, lets me get free 2-day shipping on everything* which gives me a smug sense of being frugal and yet having my whims stroked very quickly (waiting is for sucks).

I also have a knack for accruing Amazon.com gift certificates like I get ingrown toenails** (which is to say, often).

I placed an order on Amazon.com last night with one of those gift certificates.

My book arrived on my desk at work–I always ship to work because there’s always somewhere here to sign for stuff–at 1:30pm today.

So, either Amazon.com’s distribution network is delving into non-Euclidean geometry, exploring Calabi-Yau manifolds or they’re just damned efficient. I think that the former two are more romantic.

* That is to say, nowhere near everything.
** Did I tell you about how I recently went on a spa vacation with my sister and got the first pedicure of my life (I’m not exactly the beauty type) and the pedicurist lectured me for the state of the cuticles of my big toes? She went on to rip and cut and draw blood and file and (I, gritting my teeth stoically throughout the searing affair) sent me on my way with disposable flip-flops and a sneer to pad weakly back to my room. Within 24 hours one of my toes was ingrown and spurting-pus infected. That was probably my last pedicure.


  1. Anonymous says:

    Hi Lyza. -Robin

  2. 3M says:

    I have Amazon Prime and had that happen once or twice, too. Usually it’s 2 days, but one time I ordered something in the afternoon, and I had it the NEXT MORNING!

    Couldn’t believe it!

  3. mikey mike says:

    Uh, on the pedicure topic, well, you know. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

  4. Mendingo says:

    That (brilliant) pedicure story cheered me up! It’s very remeniscent of my first (and thus far only) massage at a Turkish Bath in er.. Turkey.

    I don’t see why having a hairy Turk in a loincloth grease himself up and rub your legs so hard it painfully pulls all the hairs out before sending you off to sit in a bath that would be far too hot for comfort even if you hadn’t just had your epidermis removed is something that people pay money for. I really don’t.

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